Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Romney wins Texas, clinches GOP nomination; Texas Congressman soundly rejected, returned to obscurity

Continuing with the meaningless protest vote theme, one person running for President was a congressman from Texas. He has students on college campuses screaming his name, demanding attention, and then claiming that anybody mentioning their demigod candidate does this for attention.


Therefore, he shall only be described as a congressman from Texas.


His supporters blamed his losses on everything from crooked Diebold voting machines to conspiracies involving Zionists, Neocons, and bankers. Now the people who knew him best had their say. Despite representing Texas for three decades, he was rejected by about 89% of the Lone Star State's voters.


This makes Al Gore's 2000 loss in Tennessee look almost respectable.


So with the Texas congressman's supporters finally defeated, they can be left to scream at parking lot attendants rounding up shopping carts. Their next plan is to threaten to ... actually, nobody cares.


The two general election candidates are Governor Mitt Romney and President Barack Obama. The non-partisan Commission on Presidential Debates requires that a candidate must have 15 percent of the popular vote to participate in those debates. Unless somebody other than the two major candidates reaches this threshold, America will finally have the anticipated election between two people with vastly contrasting styles.


(The Texas congressman's followers will complain about "Obamney," but at this point such comments are ludicrous that they are reduced to parentheses.)

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